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G.I.Joe. I think the opening narration for the cartoon put it best:

G.I.Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained special missions force. It’s purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra: A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

It is also the title of a comic book, and Cartoon show from the 1980’s. In the UK it was called Action Force.


History

G.I.Joe has actually been around in one form or another since the 1940’s, then it was a line of Hasbro 12’’ action figures in the 60’s and 70’s. The character G.I.Joe was named Joseph Colton and was eventually re-introduced in the Comic Book series. He is currently the Commanding Officer of the Joe Team.

The series that most people are likely to be familiar with, and the one that Billy is from however, is a Marvel Comic Book, that ran from 1982 to 1993. (I mistakenly had it end in 1997, but since I played around with continuity anyway, I forgive myself)

In 1986 Sunbow produced a two season cartoon which culminated in a cracky two hour movie. In the early 90’s DIC produced it’s own continuation of the series, which, I’ve yet to hear anything good about.

In 2001, with 80’s Nostalgia being the craze, the G.I.Joe comic book returned, passing through a few publishers, but all continuing the storyline set forth by the 1980’s series.


Storyline

It basically breaks down into, Meet G.I.Joe, a Black Ops team put together with members of all US Military Branches. Now meet Cobra, a Terrorist organization led by a man who is so paranoid that he never lets anyone see his face. And the writers never gave him a real name.

For years Cobra comes up with cracky plans to screw with, and/or rule the world. G.I.Joe stops them. Eventually Cobra is defeated. Then years later, it makes a comeback, and is currently going about it’s merry business.


Characters

The Roster of G.I.Joe and Cobra, being an advertisement for a toy line, is huge. And Cracked out. There’s way too many to really go into, so I’m just gonna give you the five biggest of the two teams.

Duke – Sgt. Conrad Hauser (Later Black Ops Agent), Field Commander. Duke was a late addition to the Joe Team in the Comic, though he was the hero right from the beginning of the cartoon. His first mission with G.I.Joe resulted in the capture of Cobra Commander, though he later escaped. He led the team on several missions, though was second in over all command. In between the old and new series, he became a Government Black Ops spook, capturing a few big name Cobra Members, and was the one to discover Cobra’s return. He was responsible for recruiting the old guard for a reinstatement of G.I.Joe. He continues to be a general bad-ass.

Latest scuttlebutt has it that Mark Wahlberg will play him in the movie.

Snake-Eyes - Sgt. No Name. His name is always listed as classified, and even in the mini-series: Snake-Eyes Declassified, the writers never bothered giving him a name. Lazy bastards. But he is a Sgt.

Though he’s barely in the cartoon, in the comic, he seemed to become G.I.Joe’s answer to Wolverine. He was the mysterious bad-ass that could take out almost any adversary. Except in the Wizard speculatory fight with Batman. He lost that one.

Snake-Eyes even, eventually got an origin story that connected him to almost every character in the comic omg. His family was killed in a drunk driving incident involving Cobra Commander’s brother. He served in Vietnam with Storm Shadow and Stalker. He arrived too late to stop the Baroness’ brother from being killed. Zartan and Firefly were hired to kill him way back when he was training as a ninja. General Hawk was the one to inform him about his family’s death. The guy apparently knows everyone.

He’s romantically involved with Scarlet, they even have been engaged to be married. He had a pet wolf named Timber, and is one of the few G.I. Joe characters to actually die and come back to life. Snake-Eyes wears a mask, not only because that is what ninjas wear, but because his face was scarred in an accident which also destroyed his vocal cords.

Scarlet- Sgt. Shana O’Hara. G.I. Joe Counter intelligence officer and often team leader. She’s a martial arts expert and uses a crossbow. She’s also one of the original team members, and Snake-Eyes’ love interest. It was in saving her from a burning helicopter that he sustained his injury. It was in saving her from Destro that he was killed, and afterwards it was partly her influence that turned him from the dark side after he came back.

Roadblock- Marvin F. Hinton. I’ve no idea what his rank is. He’s a big son of a gun, strong enough to carry a Browning M2 Machine Gun, fully loaded. He showed up at about the same time as Duke in the comics, and was one of the few Joes to go into space.
He is also, a gourmet chef. After G.I.Joe disbanded he got his own cooking show.

Gen. Hawk- Brigadier General Clayton M. Abernathy. He started out his career in the comics as a Col., and the original field commander of G.I.Joe. He was later promoted to General. Hawk was pretty much a front lines General, and participated in several key missions.

After G.I.Joe was reinstated, Hawk was shot by Cobra Commander (actually Zartan in disguise) and paralyzed from the waist down.

Cobra Commander- Once a failing used car salesman, Cobra Commander (another guy who the writers never deigned to give a real name to) became disillusioned with America, and finally insane when his brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. He built Cobra using money he got from pyramid schemes, and eventually took over a town called Springfield, indoctrinating the population into becoming loyal Cobra agents.

The Cobra Commander of the comics, is a far cry from the whiny pushover of the cartoons. Cobra Commander has outsmarted Serpentor, Destro, and G.I.Joe, even tricking the Joes into creating an island in the gulf of Mexico that became a sovereign nation.

The Commander has been defeated time and again true, but always manages to outsmart his enemies in various ways. For instance, switching places with Zartan when he discovered Destro and the Baroness’s plan to turn him in. Tricking all of Serpentor’s supporters into staying on Cobra Island when he knew the US Military was going to Nuke it.

CC seems utterly without scruples or morals, but he does, in fact, seem to have a moral code. Despite all the times he’s captured G.I.Joe team members, he has never killed them. He does however, have no problem killing those he feels has betrayed him, even his own son.

Most recently, Cobra Commander replaced the President’s Chief of Staff for several months before his ruse was discovered. He, and his organization continue to be the biggest threat to World Peace and Stability.

The Baroness- Anastasia DeCobray, one of the original members of the Cobra High Command, Second only to Cobra Commander, and Destro’s on again, off again paramour. She is ruthless, opportunistic, and beautiful, a true Femme Fatale.

The Baroness became bitter and anti-America when she discovered her older brother, a Baron, who used his wealth and influence to support humanitarian causes, apparently murdered by a US soldier (Snake-Eyes) shortly before the Tet Offensive.

She joined various anarchist and communist militia groups before helping form Cobra, and at some point became romantically involved with Destro. She has attempted many times to wrest control of Cobra, such as when she recruited Billy to assassinate Cobra Commander, or opting to side with Serpentor when it looked like he was going to win.

She has also helped the Joes on numerous occasions if it served her purposes. When she discovered that it was not Snake-Eyes who murdered her brother, she attempted to leave her old life behind, retiring with Destro to Trans-Carpathia. But she eventually found herself drawn back in, and even brainwashed into becoming a loyal Cobra agent once more.

Most recently she was believed killed along with her unborn child by Cobra Commander, but was actually imprisoned. She has escaped and is searching for her son, born in the interim.

Destro- James, McCullen Destro the 20something…th. Destro comes from a long line of Arms Dealers and Manufacturers. One of his ancestors sold weapons to both the French, and the English during one of their wars, and as punishment, was forced to wear a metal mask. That mask has since become a family symbol of pride.

Destro has kept up the tradition, heading the Military Armaments Research Syndicate, where they make, and sell, many of the cracked out weapons that Cobra uses. Destro was hired by Cobra initially to aid in a mission in Alaska involving the oil pipe-line, but he soon took up his hobby of double crossing Cobra Commander and trying to take over, and then making nice again.

Throughout the series, if he feels he owes it to them, or needs their help, or because it’s good for business, Destro has helped G.I.Joe, and vice versa. When Billy was recruited to kill Cobra Commander, Destro stopped him, somehow being the only one who knew that Billy was the Commander’s son. He disapproves of patricide you see.

After one of his attempts to retire and leave Cobra alone, he finds himself brainwashed, but by the time the new series started, he’d freed himself. When he was arrested and put on trial, he blackmailed the Entire U.N. Claiming that many of the representative countries were on his client list. Instead he helped them capture Cobra Commander, only to be captured by Cobra himself.

Most recently he killed Snake-Eyes and is grooming his illegitimate son to be his successor.

Zartan- That may or may not be his real name. Zartan has impersonated so many people through out his life, created so many new identities for himself, that he has a lot of trouble remembering who he really is.

He’s a master of disguise, and has helped Cobra in this capacity for a number of years. Though he too has tried to leave that life behind.

Zartan is the leader of an international Biker Gang called the Dreadnocks. They have chapters in every major US city, and several in Europe. His second in command is his daughter Zanya, and has two siblings, Zarana and Zandar. He has been infused with Chameleon DNA and for a time could not go out in the sun because of this.

He’s actually the only character I know of who got more realistic in the cartoon.

Storm Shadow- Tommy Arashikage. Ninja, bad ass, Cobra Commander’s bodyguard.

Storm Shadow is a member of the Arashikage Ninja Clan. He served in Vietnam with Snake-Eyes, and after the war, they trained together. Things started to go sour though when Snake-Eyes began to be better at the Ninja stuff than Storm Shadow. Then Zartan, hired by Cobra Commander to kill Snake-Eyes, stole one of Tommy’s arrows, and shot the head of the ninja clan by mistake. Oops.

Stormy joined Cobra to discover who it was killed his uncle, and then when he found out, joined G.I.Joe. And got shot by the Baroness, and put himself in Ninja!Stasis. Some of his DNA is in Serpentor now. Fun.

Storm Shadow was brainwashed along with Zartan, Destro, Baroness and Billy to re-join Cobra, then freed himself, then was brainwashed again and helped Cobra Commander, then freed himself and joined G.I.Joe again.

Where can I find it?

Collections of the new Series can be found in most comic shops. The canon comics are G.I.Joe, and G.I.Joe: America’s Elite (which comes after). There are also several Elseworlds series: G.I.Joe Reloaded, and G.I.Joe Vs. Transformers.

And the Cartoon is available on DVD.

Links

Wiki

Complete Guide

Opening for G.I.Joe The Movie

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William Kessler

June 2017

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