E-mail to the Fandom Listserv

[l1ttle_billy]

To: Fandom Listserv
From: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
Subject: John Connor M.I.A.

Has anyone heard from John Connor lately? I've tried to contact him or get a portal to his world but have been unsuccessful.

-Billy

Comments

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

From: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
To: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
Subject: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

I think you e-mailed the wrong person. I don't know who that is. Or who you are.

You're not trying to get me to let the king of Namibia transfer funds into my bank account again, are you? I did that once. Never again. He never did anything.

If you're trying to scam me, I know Batman. And he will hurt you. Batman is on my side. So there.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

From: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
To: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
Subject: Re: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

Then we're even, I don't know you either. I guess John and I were before your time.

If you've lost money to an internet scam I know people who could probably get it back for you. From one Fandom Alumnus to another.

-Billy (Fandom High Class of '08)

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

From: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
To: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
Subject: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

You could get it back?

You did steal my money! You better watch out. I'm gonna sic Batman on you.

Hayley was completely incapable of doing such a thing.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

From: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
To: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
Subject: Re: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

If I'd stolen your money I doubt seriously I'd have offered to try to get it back for you. Though my father is an evil genius so maybe there some craftiness there.

But no I think I could get it back because I'm on very good terms with some very good hackers who make their living tracking down internet criminals. And terrorists.

And who's Batman? I can't be afraid of someone I've never heard of.

It was fairly well known in Billy's world that a lot of Cobra's funds had come from internet scams.

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

From: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
To: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
Subject: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

You don't know Batman because he's right behind you.

You can't trick me! You just said you're an evil genius!

Have fun in jail, sucker!

It was very probable Hayley wasn't reading all the words.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

From: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
To: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
Subject: Re: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

Hey stop trying to confuse me with your crazy talk. I said my father's and evil genius. I'm no genius, and according to both my mother, and my therapist, not evil.

And I helped save the world, so there.

This was proving to be an entertaining distraction.

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

From: Hayley Fitzpatrick <hayley.fitzpatrick@alumni.fandomhigh.edu>
To: William Kessler <capnbill@eckerd.edu>
Subject: Re: John Connor M.I.A.

I am not crazy.

I AM NOT CRAZY.

You're a jerk. I hope Batman really does come for you.

And with that, Hayley set up William's e-mails to go to her trash and not her inbox. He'd hit one of her triggers, there.

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Had he known, Billy would have chosen different words. Buuut he wasn't sure he believed the assertion that this Hayley person wasn't a bit off. But then, it was Fandom. If you didn't come in a little crazy, you might not have been able to handle it.