CIA Safehouse, Unidsclosed Location, Christmas Eve

[l1ttle_billy]

Scarlett met him at the station, smiling. He gave her a curt greeting in return. She suggested they do a bit of christmas shopping, but he told her he picked something up on the way.

She looked disappointed, but seemed to understand. The rest of the journy was spent in awkward silence. When they finally arrived at their destination, Billy turned to her before getting out of the car. "Merry Christmas Shana." he said.

"Merry Christmas Billy." She got out as well, and walked with him to the front door.

"Snickerdoodle." Scarlett said after knocking. Billy was just glad the pass word hadn't been `Yo Joe`.

The door opened and Billy sighed.

"Keeping this all in the family?" he asked wearily.

"We're the only ones we trust to run security for this reunion." Duke explained. "Don't worry, we'll keep out of your way. And I hope you thanked Scarlett, this was all her and Snake-Eyes' fault. I mean idea." he smirked.

Billy just rolled his eyes and managed not to ask Duke how his mission to get Major Bludd went.

"Close the door." said another familiar voice from the hall. "It's not exactly covert if you give the neighbors a show."

"General Hawk." Billy blinked. "Jesus you guys are going all out here."

"You're the world's only links to the most notorious terrorist in the world." Hawk explained. "There's a very good reason you're both in witness protection. Duke was right there's no one else I'd trust in this situation."

"Just," Billy insisted. "Stay out of our way alright? I didn't come here for a reunion with you guys." Without another word he walked into the living room.

The three former Joes shared a look, and Duke gave them an `I told you so` shrug.

Billy decided not to give them another thought. He was here for one reason, and one reason only. And there she was, arranging a ridiculous number of presents under a tree. Which granted wasn't actually a huge amount, ten or so, but for Billy that was ridiculous. He hoped to god they weren't expensive. And he felt really stupid for the one present in his pocket. At least most of them looked to be books. He nervousely clicked the pen he'd gotten from Aiden's office a few times, unknowingly activating the jamming device concealed within.

Being a Fandom Spy Pen, it somehow knew which surveillance was legit, like the cameras and such being monitored by Hawk, Duke and Scarlett in the next room, and which ones were not, like the bugs the Russian Mafia had placed about the building. The Russian listening station was soon filled with loud recordings of various fandomites singing.

"Hi Mom." he said, causing her to start in surprise and knock her head against an ornament, sending it spinning onto the floor.

She turned, regarded him for a moment, and then Emilie Berg crossed the room in two strides (Billy had forgotten how tall she was) and caught him up in a fierce embrace.

"Merry Christmas William." she whispered.

Billy hugged her back enthusiastically. "Merry Christmas Mom." He heard a sniffle and hoped it was her. Because he was absolutely not going to...oh crap.

"Hang on." he said, his voice thick. "I, I need to put my eyedrops in." He made his watch stop beeping at him that it was time. His eye was much better and he suspected that by the end of the holidays it would be fine.

"Eyedrops?" she asked, concerned. "What happened?"

"Uhm," Billy hesitated. He'd told his mom about the strangeness of the island, but he hadn't gotten to the parts about the Trolls, or the Dinosaur clones yet. "Remember how I told you that Fandom is a very strange place?"

Sometime later, after dinner and more stories from their various lives, Billy's mother went to bed, and Billy climbed through the window in his room out onto the roof.

He sat there for a minute or so before he realized he wasn't alone up there. He wasn't surprised.

"I know you're there Snake-Eyes."

The silent figured stepped out of the shadows and crouched down beside him. Same old Snake-Eyes.

"So I'm told I've got you and Scarlett to thank for this." Billy said.

Snake-Eyes of course said nothing. But his body language clearly communicated "Aw shucks, it weren't nothing."

"So, thank you. And not just for that, for trusting me with your real name. Happy Channukah by the way." He took a deep breath. "But I meant what I said to Duke. GIJoe, Cobra, that entire life, I'm done with it. I want nothing to do with any of it. And I'm sorry but that includes you, and Scarlett and everyone else."

He stood to head back to the window. "Take care of yourselves. Please don't contact me again."

Snake-Eyes sat motionless on the roof for a long time.


ooc: there's some casting decisions in this that amused me to make. However it also amuses me, and will hopefully avoid conficts, to have Billy never notice any resemblance, should anyone else played by these actors show up in Fandom.