John kicked it in the nuts. Or where nuts were on normal hominids. Johnw asn't about to autopsy the fucker right there to find out. So... kick. Kickkickkick. Stab. Punch to weapon-y arm.
One tentacle ripped out the scalples, and swung them at John. the others tried to block his attacks. It succeeded with the kicks, but the punch got through, sending the gun clattering to the floor.
John blocked the scalpel tentacle and repeatedly thrust the scalpelfist into its neck until it was dead. And then a bit more. A kick or two. Okay, there was a loogie hocked. And teabagging But that was it.
John grabbed the shinygun. And noticed that an overhead conduit pipe... or something pipe, was loose. He wrenched on it, and now he had a meelee weapon about a yard long, with a pointy end and a jagged end. Oooooooshiny.
John crept around the corner, bleeding a bit from where they were poking his broken leg, covered with alien goo. Some of teh goo had mixed in wiht his blood, which can't be a good thing.
He peered around the corner, and saw an alien staring at something standing in the hallway. He raised the gun to fire...before realizing he didn't know how to make it go zzzzt. While he was figuring this out, the alien leaned closer to the bulky thing in the hallway, traced a tentacle over the glassy front, and punched something on the side of it. A whirring sound, and a small *phut* sound, and the alien reached a tentacle into a slot at the bottom and pulled something out in a metallic pouch. It opened the pouch, and bunched the contents to its face, where a mouth would be.
///Mmmmm still fresh!/// the alien thoughtsaid, as it wandered down the hallway.
John, busy WTF?!ing over hearing the alien, crouchwalked over to the thing in the hallway. Which looked like a vending machine. Sorta. Items behind glass, buttons to push. he scanned the contents. Undefinable, can't tell, something shiny, schoolgirl panties, blobby thing--panties?!
John's brain broke as he continued down the hallway.
The Alien that had moments before been using the machine realized it had forgotten something, and turned back down the hallway.
It saw the human, covered in Alien fluids and carrying several weapons. Enraged, the Alien's tentacles waved angrily, and it raised its weapon and fired.
John raised his weapon and fired, dropping into a crouching position and hugging the wall. Ooo... that's a neat sound. Good heft, easy to aim, available in the 40 watt range. He fired again, working to strafe rather than pinpoint.
So far, this particular Alien hadn't encountered any humans with firearms, and it wasn't very happy about coming upon one now. With an angry noise as a stray shot hit one of its tentacles, the Alien dropped into something of a crouch as well, and returned fire.
John ninjarolled to the side, coming down flat on his stomach, meeleepipe to the side, firing the gun wiht both hands. Left to right. Left to right. The gun was starting to overheat from overuse.
Apparently the Aliens didn't know the meaning of retreat, because despite taking several hits from the human's fire, it continued its own assault. Energy blasts exploded around them both, until the Alien gave up on the futile attempt to gun the human down, and lunged toward him with outstretched tentacles instead.
A broken pipe wasn't really a weapon in the Alien's view, so it paid little attention to what the human was doing, more intent on getting its tentacles on him. Especially since the human had foolishly dropped the gun.
Or, perhaps not so foolishly, as the Alien discovered, looking down to see a broken pipe thrust through its stomach.
The Alien's last thought, as it flailed weakly under the human's assault, was that humans weren't supposed to advanced enough for proper communication.
"///Then what in the hell're they for?!///" John flailed, pulling the pipe out.
"///Holy shit. I speak Alien?!///"
John wiped his eyes clean and rigs up a makeshift bandolier for his pipe and takes off down the corner, ray gun in each hand, very large smile on his face.
Ooo, what's this? Commtower? John peeks his head in, the symbols almost making sense on the door.
There was a sole Alien at the controls, looking frantic, as reports from the fighter squadron were coming in about they're being defeated by what appeared to be a human wearing a red cape.
John sneaks in and does a meelee attack (+4 sneak attack, +2 unprotected, -2 improvised weapon, x10 multiplier) to the back of the alien's head, killing it (or at least stunning it). John knocks it out of the chairthing, and grabs the mike.
"///HOW ARE YOU ALIENS?! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME! SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB!! HAHAHAHAHA!!///"
"///Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Desu! Des--///" John turned and looked at the door, shutting the mic off. Turning may not have been the best thing, as the loincloth somehow got lost, and he's drenched in blood. Mostly alien blood except for a few nicks and scratches.
"///Hi! You're not an alien. You've been abducted?///"
Tori couldn't understand what John was saying, but knew he had one hell of a time dealing with the aliens, due to being bloody and scratched. "What?" She kept her gaze on his face, wondering what he had gone through effectively missing the loincloth slipping.
John shook his head and smiled. "Sorry, bit loopy today. Getting poked and prodded and pointing the business end of a ray gun does that to ya. Hi. I'm John. You a regular around here?"
"It's understandable." Tori nodded, with a rueful smile. "Getting poked and prodded wasn't fun at all." She remarked, knowing from experience. "I'm Tori." She shook her head. "I try not to be."
John picked up the ray gun. "This is nice, but I'd prefer a hot shower and company of good friends." He realized what he said, and blanched a little. "Not necessarily at the same time, mind you, but hey." He may have added a mumbing "oh my gawd did I just offer?" after that.
"Well, they're still alive and moving, but other'n that, I'm good to go. Shall we?" He stuck his naked arm out akimbo as if to nakedly offer it as an escorting gesture. "Want a ray gun?"
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 09:14 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 09:29 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 09:38 pm (UTC)And teabaggingBut that was it.John grabbed the shinygun. And noticed that an overhead conduit pipe... or something pipe, was loose. He wrenched on it, and now he had a meelee weapon about a yard long, with a pointy end and a jagged end. Oooooooshiny.
John crept around the corner, bleeding a bit from where they were poking his broken leg, covered with alien goo. Some of teh goo had mixed in wiht his blood, which can't be a good thing.
He peered around the corner, and saw an alien staring at something standing in the hallway. He raised the gun to fire...before realizing he didn't know how to make it go zzzzt. While he was figuring this out, the alien leaned closer to the bulky thing in the hallway, traced a tentacle over the glassy front, and punched something on the side of it. A whirring sound, and a small *phut* sound, and the alien reached a tentacle into a slot at the bottom and pulled something out in a metallic pouch. It opened the pouch, and bunched the contents to its face, where a mouth would be.
///Mmmmm still fresh!/// the alien thoughtsaid, as it wandered down the hallway.
John, busy WTF?!ing over hearing the alien, crouchwalked over to the thing in the hallway. Which looked like a vending machine. Sorta. Items behind glass, buttons to push. he scanned the contents. Undefinable, can't tell, something shiny, schoolgirl panties, blobby thing--panties?!
John's brain broke as he continued down the hallway.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:00 pm (UTC)It saw the human, covered in Alien fluids and carrying several weapons. Enraged, the Alien's tentacles waved angrily, and it raised its weapon and fired.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:09 pm (UTC)available in the 40 watt range. He fired again, working to strafe rather than pinpoint.Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:12 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:17 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:22 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:27 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:34 pm (UTC)Or, perhaps not so foolishly, as the Alien discovered, looking down to see a broken pipe thrust through its stomach.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:37 pm (UTC)It's sad that the alien's final communication would be a derogatory one by a human trying to drive its point home. Wait. It could talk?
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:41 pm (UTC)And that the panties were not for sniffing.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 10:44 pm (UTC)"///Holy shit. I speak Alien?!///"
John wiped his eyes clean and rigs up a makeshift bandolier for his pipe and takes off down the corner, ray gun in each hand, very large smile on his face.
Ooo, what's this? Commtower? John peeks his head in, the symbols almost making sense on the door.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 11:12 pm (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-04 11:20 pm (UTC)"///HOW ARE YOU ALIENS?! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME! SOMEONE SET US UP THE BOMB!! HAHAHAHAHA!!///"
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:26 am (UTC)"John!" She spotted him and hoped he was okay, taking in his appearance.
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:30 am (UTC)"///Hi! You're not an alien. You've been abducted?///"
Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:37 am (UTC)effectively missing the loincloth slipping.Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:42 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:51 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:52 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:56 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 12:59 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 01:01 am (UTC)Re: Chaos!
Date: 2007-03-05 01:07 am (UTC)nakedarm out akimbo as if tonakedlyoffer it as an escorting gesture. "Want a ray gun?"Re: Chaos!
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